The Daily Foxx: The Next Box of Smokes

I encountered a young girl the other day. She was under 18 and very tiny, frail and young.  She needed money. to book herself into a shelter.  There was something innocent about her.  I encounter many people asking for handouts.  So at first I dismissed her. Told her I didn't have much myself.  She nodded and quietly walked away.  After awhile it struck me.  Just couldn't shake the feeling of something sad but innocent inside of her.  The feeling of dying hope but hanging on that last thread.  I had to offer something at least.  So I followed her only to find the security guards having her removed because begging is not allowed in the complex.  She quietly left.  paced up and down on the outside and headed to toward the beach after a short while. 

I ran after her and gave her some money.  I usually don't like giving money because I know that sometimes beggar buy drugs etc so I rather give some food.  But I made an exception this time. She thanked me and I told her that the beach area was not safe to walk around at night.  She looked at me and didn't say much.  But I knew that look was one that said she didn't have much choice.  She hardly spoke or demanded anything.  Most beggars are persistent but she was mostly quiet.

It kills me that what I had done for her was not much.  Her problems were bigger and I offered a temporary solution.  How does a young girl whose mind is not fully developed to handle and over come despair?

We all go on with our daily lives.  I go home after a long day at work, light a cigarette,  sometimes play a little on the playstation and have various thoughts about my life.  Here is a young girl with not much of a chance,  no home, no place to go.  Her clean clothes suggest that she just got into this rut.   So i smoke my cigarettes and kick some ass in Mortal Kombat and  all that time a young girl, if not now mostly likely in the near future is going to be attacked on that beach front and probably will sleep on the streets most nights.  But I go on with my life...

It saddens me.  It makes my heart ache.  That I'm just going to have to carry on.  That most people live their lives drinking, smoking parties, social scenes etc while the next human, the next child is getting hurt and losing whatever innocent light they were born with.

Most Sundays I try to do some form of charity work.  But I wonder if it is enough.  I wonder if it is enough and I'm going to buy my next box of cigarettes.