Valentine's Day

Well I don't know much about Valentines Day cause I've never gotten the chance to celebrate it and it's not going to be much of a celebration this year either I guess.  So I compilied a little Bloggers Valentine's Celebration :)

The Ultimate Valentines Movie: Moulin Rouge

Directed, produced and co-written by Baz Luhrmann
Starring Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor

A passion filled British poet who has an obsession with love decides to write about love.  Only one problem...he has never been in love... until he meets the breathtaking, terminally-ill star of the Moulin Rouge cabaret actress and courtesan Satine.

The movie takes you into a powerful musical, with a quick pace, extraordinary performances and brilliant choreography.  Spectacular sets with an almost fairytale-like scenery's, this love story takes you on a journey of what true love is about. 

Kicking off with unrequited, infatuation, courting where the

courtesan mistaken the identity of the poet for a duke.  Pretending to love him as part of role as a courtesan while the poet slowly slips into bewilderment.  Soon after the discovery of mistaken identity the poet knows that this is what he had always dreamt off.

With an amazing performance on the top of an Elephant shaped room Satine tries to explain that a girl like her never falls in love but reveals her hopes to one day leave this life of hers.

The poet, however has a different point of view.  "...I hope you don't mind that I put down in words...how wonderful life is now that you're in the world."

Personally I have not quite been too lucky in love, but I know that when you do love someone, and I have loved, the world suddenly becomes more beautiful than you have ever bothered to notice.  Everything suddenly seems great and almost nothing can bring you down.  It's like an enchantment and life is a magical journey. 

"The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved."

Your Song

Available on the album Elton John

Music: Elton John
Lyrics: Bernie Taupin
piano and vocals: Elton John
drums: Barry Morgan
bass guitar: Dave Richmond
acoustic guitar: Frank Clark
guitar: Colin Green
12-string guitar: Clive Hicks

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

This song is featured in the movie but sang by Ewan McGregor.  The way in which he sings it is just amazing and leaves you with this weird sensation that this is how you're going to feel when it happens to you.

Another song that appealed to me when i was younger was

Angel Eyes by Ace of Base

I know that I'm not the first one

You had love in your path before me

But when your lips touched my lips

It felt like I was kissing destiny

Angel eyes with your angel eyes

Will you always be there to hold me

Angel eyes I'm satisfied

I don't want to hear your story

'Cause I can see the things

I really want to see

I'm in love

I believe in what I'm feeling

I'd give everything up just for you

Love is devoted to those who see

That the last dance, you dance with the truth

Angel eyes with your angel eyes

Will you always be there to hold me

Angel eyes I'm satisfied

I don't want to hear your story

'Cause I can see the things

I really want to see

In your eyes

Angel eyes just want you here to hold me

Angel eyes

I think the lyrics are true, there is always something about someone's eyes that tell their story.  When you're in love you can see everything they are to you just by looking at them and into their eyes.  It's always fireworks when they hold you!

The greatest thing I have ever read or learned about love comes from a website:

romanceeternal.org

True romance never dies or diminishes. Rather it grows in charm with the passing years. Only that which pretends to be romance can die.

— Karmayogi

The Howling Foxx Compilation for 2011

Ace Of Base - Barfly

One of the many songs that I was listening to in 2011 is Barfly by the Ace of Base.  The song kicks off very mono tone which I thought could sound boring but if you understood the song itself you would start to understand that it's meant to have a lingering feel to it in order for you to relate to the shady character they sing about.  The climatic points of the song match the individuals rise in enthusiasm when he thinks his method is getting him somewhere.  So I thought it is a smart song. It is unpolished because it's a demo but I really got into it for awhile.

I also found the subject matter very interesting and since I did work behind a bar I certainly could relate to it.

 I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me - Marilyn Manson

The lyrics of the song are fascinating and can be easily misinterpreted.  Manson uses shock value in order to move one to question and think about the way we choose to live.  Breaking the borders of ridged conformity and thoughtless ways. 

"Norm life baby,  We are white and oh so hetero and our sex is missionary..."
I like the fact that he says, "oh so hetero"

When he sings this line it almost sounds like a play on words, singing out "hetero - sexual."

White - Heterosexual - Missionary : What we are taught to believe is the right way of living to a point where we forget to even think and look at what we really feel on the inside.  The conformed majority then dictate to the world of what is considered to be normal.

"we are quitters and we're sober and our confessions will be televised"
  The video features a very Jerry Spinger type of show with a lady who is pregnant with a TV.  SOoooooooo cooooooool and sooooooo smart!!!!!!!!

" You and I are under dosed and we ready to fall.
Conformity drummed in by society can be like a drug.  We are under dosed and so everything on TV and adverts etc are there, constantly brainwashing you with fear...
We are told whats beautiful and whats not,  what to wear and how to behave.

" pays to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all"
When we don't conform we are labelled as outcasts and misfits. We are given medication like anti-depressants and told that something is wrong with us.  The less you think for yourself the better your life will get the greater the consumer you become.  Buy this product and your life will be better.

 "God is white and unforgiving and we're pissed tested and we're praying"

 Very derogatory but true.  People have used religion to make God seem filled with wrath and vengeance, he punishes and strikes down those who question his word and way.

 Forgetting that all Jesus ever preached was love and caring for the next.  Jesus himself stood side by side with a prostitute and when she was to be stoned he said that he who is sin free shall cast the first stone and nobody could.

" I'm just a sample of soul made to look just like a human being..."

I tend to use this line a lot.  I often don't feel connected to anything or anyone.  I play a role in peoples lives but i don't feel like they are apart of my life.  Which is okay. I've learnt to be good on my own and happy at the same time. I'm not exactly everyone's cup of tea but they do appreciate me and I guess that is good enough. Makes me feel better in thinking it is alright not being connected to their world if I wasn't really human.  Hee hee

"We are rehabbed and we are ready for our 15 minutes of shame"
Going back to the whole Jerry Springer theme.  People have problems with their lives and humans have found a way of making a mockery of it by broadcasting on TV for the world to see.
Instead of focusing on being happier we focus on the ego.

" Norm life baby,  we're talk shown and we're pointing just like Christians at a suicide..."
Christian preach of not judging yet they constantly look down upon others for not living up to their ideals.
The line once, again is really offencive but like I said Manson uses shock value and imagery to get attention.

The song has an undertones of Gospel feel to it with a bunch of woman singing in a church like fashion. 

" I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me "

Finally the title of the song is just oh so Manson.  :)

We take away the responsibility of our thoughts, words and action by blaming it on the devil.  That it really isn't our fault at all. 

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle

A song for the underdogs.  I consider myself to be an underdog but by choice.  I don't really care, to a certain extent, of what the world thinks of me.  I have reason for why I choose to live my life the way I do.  Rather a freak on leash than a cow following the heard.  Hee hee

But in someways we are all weird and different, i just choose my right not to be afraid to exercise that notion and express it to the world.  Sometimes however I'm not even aware that what I'm doing is what the world considers traits that need to be swept under a rug. 

Other times I do care in the sense that my ways have set me apart from everyone.  Over the last few years I have been working on my perception.  Somewhere along the lines of choosing not to be afraid of being considered strange, my perception got warped into seeing the world as a monster with jagged teeth.  I am very aware of that fact, that it is all in my head.  So I have taken steps to improve my perception.  Alas, however I have understood that many care intensely for me and value and respect me.  Which I'm grateful for but I'm still very disconnected from the world.  I often feel like I was unplugged when I was born.  My projection in contrast with who i really am seems to be out of sync and it keeps people away.  I'm still very defencive and protective over myself and my autopilots kick in to push people away.  It's really hard work trying to make these adjustments but I have made immense progress (and without Prozac, hee hee)

This song is all about that.  I often feel so content after hearing this song :)

Rebel Heart - The Corrs

I think the violin is a magical instrument that sets off waves of emotions and can take you on a journey far and beyond.  This song is so powerful and so in sync with tune of the heart.

 ...and finally to wrap things up from the howling foxx

 Included in on of my favourite bands of all time is THE SMITHS

There is a light that never goes out

Lyrics:

Take me out tonight

Where there's music and there's people

and they're young and alive

Driving in your car

I never never want to go home

Because I haven't got one

anymore

Take me out tonight

Because I want to see people

and i want to see life

Driving in your car

oh please don't drop me home

because it isn't my home, it's their home

and I'm welcome no more

and if a Double-Decker bus

crashes into us

to die by your side

is such a heavenly way to die

and if a ten-ton truck

kills the both of us

to die by your side

well the pleasure - the privilege is mine

take me out tonight

take me anywhere, I don't care

I don't care, I don't care

and in the darkened underpass

i thought oh God - my chance has come at last

but then a strange fear gripped me

and I just couldn't ask

Take me out tonight

oh, take me anywhere, I don't care

I don't care, I don't care

driving in your car

I don't want to go home

because i haven't got one, dum da da...

Oh, I haven't got one

and if a Double-Decker bus

cashes into us

to die by your side

is such a heavenly way to die

and if a ten-ton truck

kills the both of us

to die by your side

well the pleasure the privilege is mine

oh there is a light and it never goes out

there is a light and it never goes out

there is a light and it never goes out

there is a light....

i was watching 500 days of summer and Zoey Dechanel sings it in the elevator and the song just became magical all over again.  I heart the Smiths :)

AUGUST 2011 - REFORMATION THEORY - Chapter 1

A beginning of a new month means the start of interventions, new meanings, rebirth…

I started exercising and meditating again but this time I want to be more disciplined. I am determined to get a good body and a clear mind … the ultimate self involved threesome combo for a special being…mind, body and spirit.

I listened to some music, because music is the food for emotions and the gods for ear drums.

Playlist of a selection of Ace of Base demos, the timeless Alanis Morissette , twisted with dark tones from the Awakening, some old fan favs like Bryan Adams and Mel C to classic masters of sound Depeche Mode and Linkin Park. (PS. I'm not exactly a Bryan Adams fan, so don't add me to the fan list).

Barfly seems to be at the top of the list, mostly because I found this track recently and it’s a demo I haven't heard of before.  The song has humble beats, warm mellow vocals, a quiet secretive lingering despair and undertone happiness in climatic points of the song.   

The song is about a person who hangs around this bar.  My interpretation is that he is this lonely, sad guy who is part of the club for “nobodies” who pretends to be a part of the “somebody’s” club. This comes from his unnecessary leaching of the limelight, his pretending to be something he’s not and come on, let’s be honest, we all know a guy like this…the one who is also the last to leave the bar as the last song fades to a finish, asking for a last round in a scratchy over smoked voice and no compassion.

Barfly is an unusual topic to sing about so I was very intrigued and surprised how Ace of Base managed to keep their signature sound on a topic like this.  Then again the AoB have always had a signature sound…you know, when you hear a song and go “that must be an Aob song.”  I like them because there music is innocent and clean.

God is Love, live in Love – Baba

What makes this powerful is that even if you don't believe in God, if you are a loving person you are a godly person.

I've decided that there are things that I want changed in my life.  The age of the Aeon for me has been highlighted more so than it has ever been.  You know the time has come when you get depressed from being tired of being depressed…and no, I'm not taking Prozac and the only reason I bragged about it when I did, was so that I could truly say “ I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me”

Hey, don't judge, we all have quirky little shallow needs…that is mine! And Prozac did contribute to me getting to this point of self realisation.  So like I was saying, if I tried something three times and it hasn't worked I'm going to try a new way.  Like Einstein once said that it is a crazy man who tries the same thing over and over again and expects a different result.

Another thing I'm doing, which I started for a long time now but it seems to ebb and flow out of my morning schedule is to be grateful for at least 10 things.

This week I have made it a “must “to do one thing, at least one thing differently.

Humans have a tendency of forming habits.  The first time you light a cigarette it gives you relief and de-stresses you. Your brain then tells itself that this is pleasure and one must obtain pleasure once more so that one achieves happiness.  Happiness to your brain means you are surviving; you need the cigarette to survive, to cope with this stress and prevent you from annihilation.  In other words, it’s not interpreting death…risks of cancer, deterioration of the lungs etc.  This pleasure or relief out ways pain because pain has not been recognised yet.  This is a point when, each time you light this cigarette you hope to achieve the pleasure you had when you first had a smoke.   By doing one different action a week you teach your brain not to form habits or gives the brain power to overcome habitual actions and instead you can have choice…I still smoke but by choice…but I assure you this piece of information  has made a difference, in my evolution.

So yeah, I smiled through the day and at everyone.  There were a few moments when I felt tangled so I decided to venture off to my secret little place.  My get away place, a place away from all the noise and allows me to recuperate my energies and remind myself that all is well and I need not lose control of my senses for this will achieve nothing.

Watched the “Imaginarium Dr Parnassus, You will meet a tall dark, handsome stranger and Hound dog.”

Imaginarium Dr Parnassus

I learnt that there are two types of desires, one which is mere indulgence, almost like a romance with material things and the latter being indulgence in desires which is narcissistic and destructive without considering the consequences of others and ultimately yourself.

Perception is your reality. Altering the perception alters the reality.  Imagination, belief and pure intent make your reality amazing.

Hound Dog

You are born with beauty, greatness and goodness, your choices and environment changes your being.  Sometimes it creates holes in your soul but if you go back to your essence of purity you can overcome these holes. The power always lies in choice.

Decided to catch a movie at the cinema – Super 8, Steven Spielberg, JJ Abrams…

The lead character is always gentle and giving but has to learn to stand up for himself, which seems to be the central theme for me right now.

Went to the psychic fair…

The tarot cards read that I'm a big softy, need to learn to be firm for they are those who will bite the hand that feeds.  Things will be fruitful and if I learn to be strong and stand up for myself I will achieve the things I want.  Like I said this seems to be my theme.  Sounds easy but I'm practising being soft spoken, to smile and be warm and radiate a good aura.  So how does one stand up for one's self without hurting anyone and free from the admission of guilt.

The cards also say that I'm taking a step back and being more observant and that it is the perfect time for new beginnings in career/work/business ventures.  Hmmm…I wonder…

Watched yet another movie called “Scott Pilgrim versus the World.”

Utterly enjoyed the whole video game style in which the movie is shot, the quirky characters…and the fact that the entire movie is seen through the eyes of Scott.

Fight for what you believe in strongly and you will evolve.   Fight for yourself, your beliefs, face yourself and admit to your failures and you will not be a failure at all.

On the subject of video games…

YouTubed the latest webisode of Mortal Kombat Legacy ep. 09 with Sektor and Cyrax.

Waited awhile for this since it was held back due to their participation in Comic Con.   Alas the wait is over and now the wait “Kontinues” for the next episode which is rumoured to be the blind swordsman Kenshi.

Great so I’m sick…

Went to the psychic fair and got a reading again

So far it seems that I'm going to meet a tall, dark foreigner who is older than me all at the age of 30/33.  I will eventually start a small business, travel a lot and my luck will eventually turn around but for now nothing much happens and there may appear to be a dark cloud lingering over me.

Let’s see what happens but for now it’s learn, learn, learn for me…

This week I watched: Captain America, the first Avenger, Harry Potter, Spirited Away(Again).

Captain America reminded me of being noble and unconditionally acting no matter…

Harry Potter reminds me of innocence, pure minded and being an all round loving being even during dire situations. 

All in all seems that intent, loving and being good even if the days seem dark and only gets darker is how one should behave.

Spirited Away, rerun and still ever so imaginative and brilliant storytelling.  Greed gets you nowhere and love brings good even when darkness is around the corner.  Even the strongest of characters cannot break you down if your heart is pure.

Wore a blue t-shirt, not a big deal for some but epic for me…

Got beaten up…hmmm

So things decided to go down a landslide for me.

Bad: Beaten up by a mob of guys

Good:  No scars, barely any bruises, in fact doesn't even look like I was attacked.

I am not missing out by not being part of the club culture.

Alcohol is pointless.

Controlling my moods, temper and mind no matter what the situation is, is vital

Learn how to be more assertive but not to lose control

Recognise what I'm feeling and what I really want is important to acknowledge

Intent plays a major role in speech and morality

So I was completely down and out but really grateful that by some miraculous way I was barely injured, almost absurdly unaffected by every punch or kick thrown my way.  I hope to carry out what I have learnt from this situation and I am able to better myself and life from this point.

It seems this situation has brought me to another spiritual point in my life.

Just when I thought I could lie low for awhile…

Looks like there is no escape from karmic crutches

 I got into a bit of an argument…a friend of mine feels that I waste my talents, not trying hard enough to get a new job because he feels I'm being abused at my current work place…that I should take days off even if I'm not really ill…and that my job does not promote my life to a point of further development

So where do I go from here…

Inventory

Mr X and I diminished…no love there

Got beaten up

Flat was broken into

Attempted break in again

Have to move house again

Got soccer punched by Mr G

Had an argument about my life

And I'm still smiling…

Lesson:

Learn to recognise what I'm feeling

Acknowledge it then deal with it

Be assertive without anger

Surround myself with better people

Do not judge or criticise others, do not speak ill of others, speak with love

Serve all, help all

Change perception, positive perception

Do not take others criticism badly but grateful for the opportunity to learn

Do not worry, trust in the process of life

Desire gets you know where

Exercising, meditating and still doing at least one thing differently each week.

Wore a blue t-shirt (as mentioned before)

Drank tea instead of coffee

Walked a different way to work

Entered my flat a different way when I got home from work

Seems minor and stupid but the book I'm reading says you could do something small and seemingly insignificant like drinking tea instead of coffee…

Another Epic Moment in Life

So it's Saturday and the venue I work at was temporarily shut down.  Things got a little out of hand but I guess the obstacles induced were to iron out a more positive future and balance things out once more.

MASTER THE MIND AND BE A MASTER MIND – BABA

Yes, I have made lots of mistakes but I'm learning and trying my best.  Learning to control my desires, urges and expectations is certainly the pathway to a happy mental state.  You regain the fire that burns within by being detached.  It allows you to love unconditionally and by doing so nobody can extinguish this fire within except you.

Music

 Marilyn Manson – I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me…”

I find this song gives me a certain amount of strength and power when I listen to it.  Let us start with haunting voice of Marilyn Manson, which can be described as an old creaking door that’s been oiled, to a seductive, sexy velvet robe on skin that has been soaked in a warm bath.

The song is actually about conformity which generally seems to be the thread sewn through most Marilyn Manson songs.

It is stitched well together with what sounds like black woman singing out in a church-like fashion – “I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me”

Lyrics

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me

I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

Norm life baby:

We're white and oh so hetero and

Our sex is missionary

Norm life baby:

We're quitters and we’re sober

Our confessions will be televised

You and I are under dosed and we're ready to fall

Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all

We're taught to be nothing

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me

I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me

I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

Norm life baby:

God is white and unforgiving

We’re piss tested and we're praying

Norm life baby:

I’m just a sample of soul made to look just like a human being.

Norm life baby:

We're rehabbed and we're ready

For our 15 minutes of shame

Norm life baby:

We’re talk shown and we’re pointing

Just like Christians at a suicide

You and I are under dosed and we’re ready to fall

Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all

We're taught to be nothing

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me

I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs x2

There’s a hole in our soul that we fill with dope

And we're feeling fine x 3

I don't like the drugs…

 

Movies

SOME LIKE IT HOT

I don’t quite like the storyline but the acting was refreshing and I enjoyed the breaking-crucial-borders ending.

Love seems to win the day when we give without wanting in return.

Drawn Together Season 2

Loads of side aching humour, absurdity and pure entertainment

I have to admit, I'm slightly drawn to Captain Hero J

Books

It started with Mark Palmer & Scott Solder’s book, “You need this book to get what you want” – “Using the art of persuasion to improve your life”

My journey starts with the need for self improvement and ultimately happiness. Misery used to be my middle name to a point where I was starting to embrace the black thoughts and bathe in blood of the black cloak I was wearing.  Soon to follow the lingering black cloud was the taste of the pretty one’s…drugs (no, not that kind of de de-de-druugggs).  PROZAC will make it better.  Soon after the medication that was more for your own protection, came the bitter after taste on the tongue. Yeah, I’m saying Prozac was seemingly the bridge but I wanted to burn that bridge, so I walked the path and went out…bravely on google.  Researching for answers, googel-ing different questions and downloading books I wasn’t going to have time to read, until finally I stepped out into Musgrave Mall.  Saw a copy of this book and decided to purchase it.

The title seemed to put me off.  At first it appears to suggests deceptive ways or manipulation.  But hey, “there is no knowledge that is not power. So I gave the book a try on the basis of wanting to understand how the mind works.  I did learn a great amount of info. Some of which I have already mentioned earlier in this blog.  So ultimately the book was not so much about manipulation but rather understanding of the human psyche. I have already mentioned in earlier chapters some of the things that I am already practising from the book.