The RE(a)D Fox 2011

You Need This Book To Get What You Want
Mark Palmer & Scott Solder

Well to be honest the book started off on a good note but I lost interest very easily and quickly.

When I first got the book I didn't like the title and what it suggested. I dunno, just thought it meant using psychology rather than true and good intentions to get what you want.  Further reading and I started to understand it and it made a lot of sense.  It was mere dynamics of how the brain functions and using that knowledge you could get what you want.  So I got into it but at this point I feel like  following such rules can make life dull.  All you really need is actually good intentions and a good heart and the rest will follow.  I have decided to continue reading since there is no knowledge that is not power.  Learning how the brain works and all its weird dynamics can be amazing too.

Some of the things I have learnt already :

If you try something three times and it does not work you got to find another way.

I learnt about Internal dialogue.  How to understand your internal dialogue and change it to a more positive one.

How to overcome fears and teach your brain to understand that the actual fear is a manifestation of a conceived notion by the brain of something that has not happened yet.

How making a pros and cons list can bring to surface the unconscious mind which has already made a decision where as the conscious mind seems to procrastinate that decision based on logic, environmental factors, people and preconceived logic.

Breaking the habit.  Realising that a habits give you certain benefits and trying to get the same benefits by forming new and positive habits and replacing the old ones with these can help you overcome destructive behaviour patterns.

Autopilots - we have an internal mechanical thinking processor that automatically performs tasks to give way for us to focus on other things.  These autopilots do not understand logic or reason so sometimes bad autopilots are formed.  Finding out which autopilots are useful and which are not can help you to be more productive.

 

The Howling Foxx Compilation for 2011

Ace Of Base - Barfly

One of the many songs that I was listening to in 2011 is Barfly by the Ace of Base.  The song kicks off very mono tone which I thought could sound boring but if you understood the song itself you would start to understand that it's meant to have a lingering feel to it in order for you to relate to the shady character they sing about.  The climatic points of the song match the individuals rise in enthusiasm when he thinks his method is getting him somewhere.  So I thought it is a smart song. It is unpolished because it's a demo but I really got into it for awhile.

I also found the subject matter very interesting and since I did work behind a bar I certainly could relate to it.

 I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me - Marilyn Manson

The lyrics of the song are fascinating and can be easily misinterpreted.  Manson uses shock value in order to move one to question and think about the way we choose to live.  Breaking the borders of ridged conformity and thoughtless ways. 

"Norm life baby,  We are white and oh so hetero and our sex is missionary..."
I like the fact that he says, "oh so hetero"

When he sings this line it almost sounds like a play on words, singing out "hetero - sexual."

White - Heterosexual - Missionary : What we are taught to believe is the right way of living to a point where we forget to even think and look at what we really feel on the inside.  The conformed majority then dictate to the world of what is considered to be normal.

"we are quitters and we're sober and our confessions will be televised"
  The video features a very Jerry Spinger type of show with a lady who is pregnant with a TV.  SOoooooooo cooooooool and sooooooo smart!!!!!!!!

" You and I are under dosed and we ready to fall.
Conformity drummed in by society can be like a drug.  We are under dosed and so everything on TV and adverts etc are there, constantly brainwashing you with fear...
We are told whats beautiful and whats not,  what to wear and how to behave.

" pays to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all"
When we don't conform we are labelled as outcasts and misfits. We are given medication like anti-depressants and told that something is wrong with us.  The less you think for yourself the better your life will get the greater the consumer you become.  Buy this product and your life will be better.

 "God is white and unforgiving and we're pissed tested and we're praying"

 Very derogatory but true.  People have used religion to make God seem filled with wrath and vengeance, he punishes and strikes down those who question his word and way.

 Forgetting that all Jesus ever preached was love and caring for the next.  Jesus himself stood side by side with a prostitute and when she was to be stoned he said that he who is sin free shall cast the first stone and nobody could.

" I'm just a sample of soul made to look just like a human being..."

I tend to use this line a lot.  I often don't feel connected to anything or anyone.  I play a role in peoples lives but i don't feel like they are apart of my life.  Which is okay. I've learnt to be good on my own and happy at the same time. I'm not exactly everyone's cup of tea but they do appreciate me and I guess that is good enough. Makes me feel better in thinking it is alright not being connected to their world if I wasn't really human.  Hee hee

"We are rehabbed and we are ready for our 15 minutes of shame"
Going back to the whole Jerry Springer theme.  People have problems with their lives and humans have found a way of making a mockery of it by broadcasting on TV for the world to see.
Instead of focusing on being happier we focus on the ego.

" Norm life baby,  we're talk shown and we're pointing just like Christians at a suicide..."
Christian preach of not judging yet they constantly look down upon others for not living up to their ideals.
The line once, again is really offencive but like I said Manson uses shock value and imagery to get attention.

The song has an undertones of Gospel feel to it with a bunch of woman singing in a church like fashion. 

" I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me "

Finally the title of the song is just oh so Manson.  :)

We take away the responsibility of our thoughts, words and action by blaming it on the devil.  That it really isn't our fault at all. 

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle

A song for the underdogs.  I consider myself to be an underdog but by choice.  I don't really care, to a certain extent, of what the world thinks of me.  I have reason for why I choose to live my life the way I do.  Rather a freak on leash than a cow following the heard.  Hee hee

But in someways we are all weird and different, i just choose my right not to be afraid to exercise that notion and express it to the world.  Sometimes however I'm not even aware that what I'm doing is what the world considers traits that need to be swept under a rug. 

Other times I do care in the sense that my ways have set me apart from everyone.  Over the last few years I have been working on my perception.  Somewhere along the lines of choosing not to be afraid of being considered strange, my perception got warped into seeing the world as a monster with jagged teeth.  I am very aware of that fact, that it is all in my head.  So I have taken steps to improve my perception.  Alas, however I have understood that many care intensely for me and value and respect me.  Which I'm grateful for but I'm still very disconnected from the world.  I often feel like I was unplugged when I was born.  My projection in contrast with who i really am seems to be out of sync and it keeps people away.  I'm still very defencive and protective over myself and my autopilots kick in to push people away.  It's really hard work trying to make these adjustments but I have made immense progress (and without Prozac, hee hee)

This song is all about that.  I often feel so content after hearing this song :)

Rebel Heart - The Corrs

I think the violin is a magical instrument that sets off waves of emotions and can take you on a journey far and beyond.  This song is so powerful and so in sync with tune of the heart.

 ...and finally to wrap things up from the howling foxx

 Included in on of my favourite bands of all time is THE SMITHS

There is a light that never goes out

Lyrics:

Take me out tonight

Where there's music and there's people

and they're young and alive

Driving in your car

I never never want to go home

Because I haven't got one

anymore

Take me out tonight

Because I want to see people

and i want to see life

Driving in your car

oh please don't drop me home

because it isn't my home, it's their home

and I'm welcome no more

and if a Double-Decker bus

crashes into us

to die by your side

is such a heavenly way to die

and if a ten-ton truck

kills the both of us

to die by your side

well the pleasure - the privilege is mine

take me out tonight

take me anywhere, I don't care

I don't care, I don't care

and in the darkened underpass

i thought oh God - my chance has come at last

but then a strange fear gripped me

and I just couldn't ask

Take me out tonight

oh, take me anywhere, I don't care

I don't care, I don't care

driving in your car

I don't want to go home

because i haven't got one, dum da da...

Oh, I haven't got one

and if a Double-Decker bus

cashes into us

to die by your side

is such a heavenly way to die

and if a ten-ton truck

kills the both of us

to die by your side

well the pleasure the privilege is mine

oh there is a light and it never goes out

there is a light and it never goes out

there is a light and it never goes out

there is a light....

i was watching 500 days of summer and Zoey Dechanel sings it in the elevator and the song just became magical all over again.  I heart the Smiths :)

Quotes of 2011

So last year I found a few inspirational quotes:

Quote 1:  God is LOVE live in LOVE

There are many religions and many beliefs out there.  Love and truth is what my personal spirituality is based on.  That's what I try to aspire too.  When I think of God I think of the Divine as pure light,  truth and love.  I don't want to follow any particular religion because there are truths in all and ultimately being a more loving being is the most universal religion one can practise.  It sounds easy. Just be loving...but it's not... when one considers human nature.

Real love knows no want, no need, no anger.    How often do we forget this.  When you first fall in love we get into a stupor. The person becomes the most admiral being we have ever met.  Their flaws become beautiful.  When we get comfortable with them, it suddenly changes.  "You don't spend enough time with me or it annoys me when you do that."  Suddenly love changes to wants and needs. 

Getting angry, wanting and needing from another makes us forget to look through the eyes of the other person. To except their flaws and to understand them. 

Real love just gives, without wanting anything in return.  That is unconditional love.  That, to be honest can be difficult to practise.  It just takes a second when someone could upset you, to get your senses heighten and emotions to be stirred.  Taking the "I" out of everything can be difficult when trying to run your life correctly in a materialistic world.  Aspiring to be a more loving being is harder to practise then it is to say you are loving.

The closer I get to practising being more loving the closer I feel I get to GOD.

Quote 2:  Master the mind and be a master mind

Another quote from Sai.

The reason I chose this quote as a follow up to the first is simply because as I mentioned being more unconditionally loving requires you to give up wants and needs and desire.  So it is the senses that one must learn to control.  It  is ours senses that boils up and overflows that makes us lose control and brings us to misinterpret situations and react.  Learning to control the mind from short impulses based on the immediate interpretations of the senses requires discipline.  Hence ...master the mind and be the master mind

Quote 3:  Suffering Succotash

Okay so yeah all these quotes floating around in the world, I needed one that is simple and fun and takes away all that....

So thanks Sylvester.

So to end things off, here is one last quote from last year.  Thanks Super J

Makes me feel like I can conquer anything :)

My Favourite Superhero

When I was younger I grew fond of superheroes. They were the height of what humans needed to aspire too. Of course superpowers and advanced abilities were just spectacular but only in the realm of fantasies. However, I did secretly believe that we may be able to tap into some sort of super power too but it was more than that. It was their nobility, eye for justice and equilibrium, compassion, morality and selflessness and sacrifice.

Let’s take the all time, timeless superhero Superman. Firstly he isn’t even human; he is Kryptonian, a highly advanced race. Yet Superman aspires to human traits because he’s see our beauty. Our ability to be loving beings or our potential to be loving. He always makes the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good. He has a strong sense of justice yet always compassionate. He’s ultimate desire : Love, his love for Lois. Furthermore his complete and utter respect for his parents is admirable.

Then there is Batman. A true sense of "The Light" in darkness. Like pure poetry in motion Batman is a twist of pain and hurt romanced into a cape crusader, fighting for justice. Pointing out how everything boils down to perspective. You could take the pain you experience and turn it into reason as to why you need not care for the next or instead turn it into a deed for the good so that fewer will suffer the same fate.

Moving on to a different sort of heroes: The planeteers. Blessed by the powers of the elements, taking care of the environment from harmful human destructive carelessness. Yes, their rings give them powers to will the elements but they also practised simple basic humanity. Wise methods to respect nature and the environment. Basic traits that every me, and every you could do.

As I grew older these qualities that I looked into from the realms of Hollywood and books grew towards various other characters like Harry Potter. Yes, a majik (Majik: spelling in Wicca) wand could do the trick but Harry’s real power comes from his heart. No matter how rare the rewards may seem Harry always sticks to the roots of his good nature. He chooses to be good without the attachment of hope of anything in return. Selflessness and sacrifice being the operative words here with no attachment of gain.
Then there is the submissive hero Samwise Gamgee

Yeah, he is one of my favourite characters in "The Lord of The Rings." He is a simple gardener who isn’t exactly a man of steel like the spandex wearing cape crusaders, he doesn’t have the agility or skill of that of a spider and he doesn’t have the detective calculating learnt mind of the detective bat. What makes him a hero is his nobility, his sacrifice and aura. Frodo and Sam had almost nothing left to eat on their journey. Sam knew that Frodo needed his strength to accomplish his tasks so he pretends to have eaten and gives it all to Frodo. Allowing himself to perish and suffer in the name of a greater cause and friendship. When Frodo asked Sam to stay behind, Sam refuses. Frodo paddles away in the rowing boat and Sam walks into the lake preparing to swim all the way and not leave his friend alone in this struggle. The power to sacrifice ones own need for another, to serve another in the name of good these are the real qualities that make a super hero.

Well this leads me to my favourite superhero of all time. It is someone I know in person. Someone that means a lot to me and he is someone who inspires me: Super J
What makes him so special. He has an amazing heart unlike anyone I have met. The intensity of his heart is unlimited.
 
See I went on a quest to better myself through the years. So I embraced myself with philosophy and knowledge and looked for inspiration. I used to be quiet naive when I was younger and when I got to Durban I didn’t have much life experience. I started working in this bar and didn’t understand that if someone kissed you it didn’t mean they loved you. That people have sex just because…Ha ha ha…sigh! Seriously though. I was a hopeless romantic and watched movies and thought love happened when two people connected after forming this amazing bond and then came the spontaneous kiss, which eventually lead to a passionate indulgence and that was the expression of love. So yeah, not very smart of me so you can image working in the only gay bar in Durban that my heart got crucified, a lamb to the slaughter. I had to focus on the building of a strong foundation for myself and so I formed a defence system. I rejected any feelings inside of me except loyalty and caring for my friends. Beyond that I pretended and would say vomit and be grossed out every time I heard something loving or romantic or felt something. It was to prevent an attachment or need.

Now years went by and I got so used to this way…but now I’m grown up and I have experience and I have no need to hide. Being used to my old way and defences I needed reformation. So I started different methods and doing various things differently.

When I started blogging, Super J started reading it and he mentioned how he would have never guessed it was me who was the blogger. I have lived with Mr Quitch for many years and he knows me profoundly but when Mr Bo Rai Cho moved in, Mr Quitch mentioned to me how the constructions of my sentences were different when I talked in front of Mr Bo Rai Cho. He say he used to wonder why everyone called me dark and scary all the time when he felt it was pretty obvious that I was actually a softy and now with Bo Rai Cho around he noticed how my approach was different. I didn’t know I was still hiding. All of these finding has only brought me now to a realisation of how distant I was from what I hold inside to what I project.
See how autopilots creep in. So I started doing things differently and hopefully I will get there.
 
So this brings me back to Super J. Having worked in bar and my perception on the ideal romance and peoples intention etc has warped my vision and hence my defences kick in which lead to mistrust and paranoia. But Super J defied that perception. I could not ignore his amazing heart.
 
Some of his superpowers and personality traits:
Well he always says hello to everyone in the room and always has this infectious smile that brightness up your day. I learnt that a smile is worth millions and that it can move mountains.
 
He has an amazing respect for his parents like Superman has for his. A noble quality that we often forget and take for granted. When I learnt that I was gay I distance myself from my family and became super independent in case they would have rejected me for being homosexual. I thought I needed to be independent from them in case they wouldn’t love me if they found out, so I secured myself in not needing them but only showing them love from my side. Super J reminded me the importance of one’s love and respect to his parents.
 
I worked in an intense environment with many people who have many different needs and different personality traits. Some are hard to understand and get along with. No matter who they are or what they do Super J is always nice to them. There is this lady that most interpret as bossy and uncaring. Let’s call her the Pirate. Although she is difficult he sometime messages her a hug because he felt she might have needed one. That’s how amazing he is. I learnt from this and now my relations with the pirate are amazing and have bloomed to such a great height. She treats me with respect and goes to the extent of sometimes parking outside my flat and just chatting to me, making sure I’m okay. She even gave me food that her mum prepared for her and we all know that when a mum prepares food for her child it is always done with the utmost love. I started to understand her and learnt that her projection was different from who she was inside and learnt to see her for who she really is. She is actually a really caring person.
Then there is Mr Soprano. He sometimes pushes Super J around and talks to him badly yet Super J still treated him to a Spa. Being a superhero fanatic I always thought you fight for the people you love and your fight for justice.  This is important but knowing when and how to do this is just as important. But I realised that it never matters what someone else is doing, you just got to show them love even though. You are responsible for your actions and that is what counts. Not what they’re doing but what you do…Super J always shows and holds his respect for these people and is beyond their ways.




One of Super J’s friends hurt him really badly. When the event was occurring, Super J kept his faith in his friend even though the evidence was hard to ignore. He still believed in his friend. Even though it turned out for the worst. I admire Super J for being loyal to his friend. Having faith in someone is far more noble than going with the flow or taking the easy way out. Love is a risk and it is worth it.

Love is Super J’s greatest quality and power. He uses it responsibly and I hope that my heart could be as great as his. He is an inspiration to all of humanity and is my favourite Superhero of all time!!!!

Chapter 05: Autopilots

Your conscious brain can process up to nine seperate bits of info comfortably at any one time. Your five senses are constantly processing loads of info all the time.  The other part of your brain, your unconscious process at any given moment two million bit of information per second.

So what do autopilots have to do with this...

The info revealed tells us that our brain processes masses bits of info whether we are asleep or awake.  Part of its job is to carry out automatic behaviour - blinking, growth of hair and nails etc to even the fact that you are able to balance on two feet.

There is so much happening in your brain  that it has to be selective to what it chooses to focus on and what it leaves you to do automatically.

Bad autopilots for eg.  smoking every time you finish a meal, creep in when you are not looking. 

There was a woman who once said, "I'm hungry for balance...I'm hungry to do something other than work."  The more she worked the more she needed to balance her life with something else.  In her case it was food.  She eventually starting putting on weight and reached 108 kilos.

If you think about her choice of words were HUNGRY for balance.  If you really think about it you can be desperate for balance and hungry for food. Her use of words tells you a lot about what's going on in her mind.  her brain made an unconscious connection with food as a substitute antidote to her work.  Ultimately she understood that eating that bag of crisps would not big good for her but autopilots don't understand logic or reason.

So this woman started dieting.  eventually she got to a comfortable weight again when guess what?  When she was thin enough she slacked off on the dieting and started putting on those pounds all over again.

It was only when she discovered what was really going on inside of her, her mind she began to win with not only her battle with weight but the whole war.

"I'm hungry for balance....I"m hungry to do something other than work."  The result was that she changed her attitude to losing  weight.  She stopped using food as a balance against her work.

This woman is Oprah Winfrey.

The Art of Words Pt5: CRYING

I find it kinda strAnGe
I find it kinda cOmplIcAted

I gave the wOrld my heart
Threw it into an open sea

But the sound of crashing waves
never let it be

I find it kinda complicated
I find it kinda blue

I gave my heart to the w0rld
Threw it hIgh into the sky
Despite the rain

But the crashing lightning came
Striking....Destruction...Disaster
PAIN

I find it kinda Beautiful
I find it kinda true

I gave the world my HEART
...and I gave it to you...

...now tell me...
                      ...what will you do?
                                                    ...to be continued...





i FiND iT KiNDa unfInIshed...I fInd It UP to U...

The Howling Foxx - S4 : The Corrs, Rebel Heart

"Rebel Heart" by Irish pop/rock group the The Corrs from their third album "In Blue"

After we moved and I was arranging my room I came across my Corrs album.  I remember getting completely lost in this song - Rebel Heart.

It's an instrumental track with Celtic influence featuring violins,bodhran and tin whistle.  I think the violin is such a magical instrument and I seem to disappear into an emotional realm every time I hear one.  This track gave me goose bumps the first time i heard it and left me...eh..breathless...haha!